I wish I thought of posting to this blog more frequently. I so enjoyed reading the last post, especially Camille’s toddler phrases I didn’t/don’t want to forget. I had already forgotten some of them!

In the same vein, here are some things about the kids right now or in recent history that I don’t want to forget:

Camille:

• “Suit yourself.” (5 years old)
• “You have two options. They are…”
• “I ramdombly stepped in it on the way to my bed.” (referring to a puddle of Penny piddle on the fluffy rug in her room)
• “Hospitdottle” or “Hosbottle” for hospital
• Has gotten much better with Penny of late (mostly). Wants to rub her tummy or give her toys more than she wants to kick her or have Penny chase her until she’s in tears from Penny’s biting.

Jonah:

• “Litrally” for literally, and no, he’s not using it correctly.
• Asked a lot of questions that danced around the Santa issue during holiday season 2022. He finally out right asked Janet during a late night chat session if Santa is real or if we/parents are Santa. Janet got his assurance that he really wanted to know, which he did, and she told him the truth. All three of us are a little sad about the end of this magical time in his childhood, even if Santa isn’t a big deal in our family. We told him he could forget and pretend next Christmas, since I pretty much do every day except after bedtime on Christmas Eve.
• Still wants to snuggle every night as he falls asleep. Still sleeps with a lovie, currently Stinky the Build-A-Bear skunk. It’s frequently Snowy (the light blue, softest ever polar bear that cost 2x what I expected it to at Richards a couple of years ago, but we’ve since determined – again and again – that he was worth it) or Fluffy (teddy bear from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company that he got on our 10-year anniversary trip to Burlington in July 2021).
• Still obsessed with the weather.

Janet:

• Works exclusively for Q Med, kicking ass and taking names.
• Is working out a lot, which is a boost to her mental health. Her abs are still rock hard, and her butt is the cutest ever.
• Has really gotten into caring for Penny over the last month. Penny is more frequently with Janet during the day than with me right now. They love each other.
• She’s enjoying living so close to her BFF and seeing her pretty much daily. She and Steph have a strange, kismet-y bond that endures. They are frequently the same person.

Me:

• Still trying to figure out who I am and/or who I want to be.
• The move to Virginia has been good for me. It’s exposed a lot of what I already knew was “wrong” by eliminating distractions, highlighting shortcomings, and giving me an opportunity to make changes.
• I miss Atlanta more than I’ll admit to anyone. I wish we were still there. I wish we hadn’t moved, but I’m more grateful for the opportunity to change. It’s a real struggle to reconcile in my head.
• I’m in therapy, working with a personal trainer, seeing a chiropractor once or twice a week, and I just got a new psychiatrist. I’m trying – really hard – to stay on top of my mental and physical health.
• I’ve been working out with frequency! Hallelujah! I want to keep it up and ramp it up in 2023. I want to be strong and fit. I want to be capable. I want to take my body on adventures with confidence and excitement. Dread no more.
• I’ve started to embody the long-held belief that stuff in my physical space equates to clutter in my mental space. There’s still opportunity to clear out and clean up more, but we’ve made good headway in the last six weeks. Katie the professional organizer has been so helpful.

I formed an LLC today. Boring Queers! I want to do two things: 1) Create a boring queers journal [still noodling this idea, but done is better than perfect!] and 2) start the BQ podcast. These are my Q1 goals.

My mantra for 2023 is a carryover from 2022: Good enough.

It’s been more than three years since I wrote a blog entry, which feels like an eternity in the life of a family with young children. Jonah is six now, and Camille – who’s never even been mentioned on the blog – is almost three!

I won’t beat around the bush: It’s Coronavirus time. “Life in the time of COVID-19,” as they like to say. So weird. I’m sure we’ll look back on this in much the same way we look back on 9/11, except a lot more people died, there’s no end in sight, and our government has botched this even more bigly than 9/11.

Jonah just started virtual first grade, and he’s such a rock star. He’s mostly attentive, but I think he’s sort of bored. I sure would’ve been at his age with 100% online learning of stuff I already know. I’m sure it’ll get more interesting as they start covering new material.

Camille starts a toddler pod next week, thereby returning her to the land of the little person. She hasn’t seen anyone younger than Billie since mid-March.

Things Camille says that I don’t want to forget:

“Lah-ter” for water

“Bopple” for bottle (Jonah said “bockle”)

“I-wuh-know” for “I don’t know”

“Mille” for her name (“I’m Mille!”)

“I need help!”

“I need something.”

She calls us Mommy/Mama pretty interchangeably, and Jonah’s started doing it too.

Jonah has lost two teeth so far – the two bottom middle ones. Both of his top teeth are loose!

Jonah’s hair still hasn’t grown out since he cut his own bangs in early June.

Dear Jonah,

What a year you’ve had! After turning 2, you wrapped up your first year of preschool at Turning Sun, and even though it was a hard decision, Mommy and Mama decided to send you to The Nest the next year.

You spent the summer hanging out with Auntie Lea and Baby Billie while Mama and Mommy worked. In July, we took a trip to Maine to visit Lea’s parents and Aunt Kay (aka Nana Kay) and Aunt Colby. You rode on boats, trains, trolleys, planes, and in cars while we were there.

School started in August, and it was a tough transition for our family. You came home very hungry and tired and exhausted from being such a good kid all day. Eventually we learned to feed you right away, and to allow you time to play alone before dinner and bath time. It took you a while to become comfy with your new teachers and classmates. You’ve made some really good friends at school: Aleita, Reece, and Huck are your favorites. And your favorite teacher is, by far, Caroline. Your class is filled with wonderful kids who have really lovely parents, and our whole family has enjoyed getting to know everyone this year.

In September, we took a trip to Saint Augustine to play at the beach. Nana came with us, and you two had so much fun digging in the sand together.

Thanksgiving was spent with Mindy and Blair, Rebecca, Kelly, and Mark. We had such fun hanging out in Mindy and Blair’s backyard!

For Christmas, Grandpa Stu and Maymie came to visit! We ate good food, opened so many presents, had a fun mountain adventure for Mama’s birthday, and played and played and played!

2017 started off with a bang, and before we knew it, we were off to England to see Uncle, Emy, Everett, and Miles in England! Oh, what a wonderful time we had with them! You were such a great traveler on the flight over – you even slept for several hours while laying on Mommy! We played, and played, and laughed, and ate, and had such a good time with our sweet British family. You had a hard time sleeping in your own room at Uncle and Emy’s new house, so you slept with Mommy, and I slept in your room! How silly! I hope that doesn’t happen next time (for Mommy’s sake).

And now we’ve arrived in April, and it’s your birthday today. You’re fast asleep in your room (we hope), and we’ve had such a fun weekend with you. We had your birthday party at Brownwood Park yesterday morning, and so many of your friends came to play with you! Aleita, Reece, Preston, Deniz, C.C., Billie, Alice, and Anis were there to help you celebrate your third trip around the sun!

Today, on your actual birthday, we woke up and FaceTimed with Uncle, Emy, and Miles (Ev was napping). Then we went to Ria’s for birthday pancakes, which you wolfed down like you’d been starved for a week! After breakfast, we went to the Dogwood Festival and played on TWO playgrounds in between strolling around to see the artists. We saw Ricky-Stix and Andy-pants and Matt and Mads while we were there, and they all wished you the happiest of birthdays.

We had a low key post-nap afternoon, an easy dinner, a long bath, and a sweet bedtime reading new books. You are such a tiny love.

Tomorrow we’ll go to school with you for a tea and crumpets celebration with your classmates, and Mommy will read a book to the class about Tea Rex.

It’s hard to even know where to begin in describing what an interesting, funny, complex human being you’ve become in the past year. You are very normal when it comes to having big, strong feelings about life and its decisions. You are strong-willed/stubborn, but you can also be reasonable and easygoing. A lot of that depends on if you’re tired or hungry, which affects us all.

You like to watch shows, but we try to keep it to a minimum during the week, because sometimes it seems to make you grouchy. Your favorite toys are TRUCKS and CARS, and close seconds are legos and trains. You’re currently obsessed with construction vehicles, and you got a few for your birthday. Nana got you a big backhoe, and Grandpa and Maymie got you a big concrete truck. I hope we get a sandbox made for you this spring, so you can scoop and dig to your heart’s content.

Your favorite books are about Moses the cat, Mog the cat, Arthur, and The Family Book. You also like Go, Dog, Go!, which I find to be a less interesting read than the others you fancy.

I hope in the next year that we can guide you toward greater patience and generosity. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bug me a little that you don’t like talking to grown ups or kids about things, like asking questions or even saying hi and goodbye. I don’t want to force you to talk to people, because you’re your own person, but I do hope that you grow comfortable with others as you grow older, as it will serve you well to chat.

I hope you continue to feel excited and passionate about how things work, why things are the way they are, and all the other questions that float through your interesting mind. We want you to know and love the world, even the wrinkly bits that are hard to understand and even harder to explain to a 3-year old.

More than anything, we hope you continue to feel loved, supported, and cherished, because we love, support, and cherish you more than anything or anyone in the world, my little love. You are our greatest gift, and we are forever grateful for you.

All my love,

Mama

Dear Jonah,

You are nearly 33 months old now. You talk SO MUCH. Your favorite things to do are go to the park (Brownwood being your favorite), play with your legos or trucks, and read books.

You started going to a full-day school this year in August. It was a tough transition for all of us, but 4 months in, and I think we’ve got the hang of it. You have a buddy, Reece, whom you adore, and several friends that you gravitate toward (Aleita, Axel, etc.). You don’t talk to your teachers that much, but you’ve come out of your shell a bit since August, and they’ve noticed.

You have so many things to say. You love to ask “What was that noise?” and, “Why?” You like to state the obvious and hear us confirm your suspicions. You repeat yourself a lot. We love to hear your ideas.

You’ve grown tall, and you’re very comfortable using your body to climb and jump. We’re proud of the caution and confidence you’ve gained to mitigate physical situations. You’ve got a most excellent run/trot that takes you all over the house, yard, or park.

Like all two-year-olds, you have a hard time controlling your impulses and your emotions, but we’re getting used to calmly helping you understand what can and cannot happen, and some days are better than others for your understanding of those guidelines. You can be very, very sweet to us, and we love you so, Jonahbear.

As with most tasks these days, this post is disjointed, written over the course of nearly an entire month! 

Dear Jonah,

Today you are six months old! Your first half year has passed in a flash, and it’s impossible to imagine life without you now.

The last couple of weeks seem to have been a little challenging for you, though you seem to be on an upswing as of the last three days. These are the possibilities we’ve come up with for why you might’ve been having a rough time:

1) You’re teething. I feel some rough patches on your bottom gums in the front. I think you’ll have a tooth cut soon.

2) It’s hard to communicate with us without words. We know you desperately want to talk to us, as you do it all the time, but for now, it’s all just sweet sounds and cooing and screeching. We love to hear your amazing voice, but we don’t always understand what you’re trying to tell us.

3) It’s a phase. You’re growing and learning, and doing that while maintaining a cheerful disposition all the time is hard!

Whatever the reason for your sometimes discontentedness, we know it’s only temporary. More importantly, you grow more loving, happy, funny, and joyful with every passing day.

——-

You are now just a week shy of turning 7 months old. We know you’re getting a tooth in the bottom, because we can see its beginnings! This explains a lot.

Right now you’re in your walker, which is a gadget you’ve really started to love. Mommy and I put you in it for handsfree time in the kitchen, and you scoot, gnaw, and laugh in it for a really long time (thank goodness). In short, it’s a lifesaver.

You roll over with reckless abandon now, rolling all over the living room like you own the place. You bang your feet and reach with your arms while you explore everything in your reach. Interestingly, the living room rug serves as an understood boundary for you, and you rarely roll off of it. I think it’s pretty cute of you.

You’ve been eating more foods, both in your high chair at home and on the go. You’re not so interested in picking food up, but you love to hold a spoon and try to find your mouth. Feeding you now requires two spoons: one for you to hold and one to feed you.

You’re a real wiggle worm when it comes to diaper changes. We’ll take it, since it doesn’t come with nearly as much fuss as it used to.

Speaking of fuss, you now equally love and detest bath time. You’re tired of reclining, so you insist on sitting up in your blue bath tub. It’s definitely time to move you to the big tub, but we’re waiting to do that in the new house: excitement!

We love you so much, Jonah, and every day is more interesting and more fun with you. You’re crying now, so I’ll cut this short.

All my love,

Mama

We’ve thrown our one at a time food deal out the window, and we’ve just started giving Jonah little bits of this and that. I even tore a peach into chunks and put him in his high chair to eat it yesterday! He almost choked once. He didn’t understand why the peach didn’t magically make it into his mouth without his hand. He sucked on the tray of the high chair quite a bit, getting angry when it didn’t satisfy like a chunk of peach. He made a HUGE mess. First peach AND first high chair: pretty much a success!

You guys: he is SO big. He’s talking and babbling like a chatterbox (OMG – I hope he’s SO chatty when he starts talking real words). He’s such a charmer with his coy smiles and intense staring. And with it all, his drama is soaring. Showell. We had to figure he’d be a little emotional, given that we’re two sensitive Sallys.

His current favorite pastime is going for walks. He doesn’t do any of the walking, but he thoroughly enjoys a trip around the neighborhood in the stroller. He’ll occasionally fall asleep, but he mostly stays awake to take it all in. Fall is in full effect here (oddly enough), so the weather is PERFECT for walks. Still warm enough to work up a sweat and wear shorts, but cool enough that it’s never miserable.

I leave you with this adorable face.

As the title of this post suggests, not much is happening around here. Jonah’s now eaten peas and butternut squash, both with great success. Note to Emily & Steven (if he ever reads this): butternut squash is practically without color and doesn’t seem to stain clothes easily. Remember that whole, “We never soak anything, because nothing gets stained”? Well things get stained now. Peas stain. Avocado stains. Sweet potato stains. I guess we need to discuss soaking some stuff.

Anyhoo – he’s eating like a champion, AND he finally has a baby spoon. I’m not sure how we/I overlooked this key piece of gear, but I did. I probably figured we wouldn’t need it until October, but old starve-o needs his grub. I ordered a wooden Spuni. (http://spuni.com/products/wood-spuni) It’s crafted in Vermont from maple, and it’s a cool shape that helps babies latch or something. I think it’s BEAUTIFUL, and Jonah and Janet both like it a bunch.

We’ve found a sitter! Narinder is an acquaintance/soon to be friend of Sarah’s whom Janet has met a couple of times. She teaches yoga and provides some elder care to her neighbor. She has a long history of nannying and babysitting, and when she heard we needed someone one or two days a week for a few hours, she offered up her services. She came to the house to meet Jonah and George (and me), and Jonah took to her immediately. He even threw up on her. What a charmer. We’re looking forward to not having to worry about childcare moving forward, as we discussed our calendars until the end of the year!

That’s all for now. I’m off to bed.

Dear Jonah,

You’re five months old! Where has the time gone? I think that everyday: how are you growing and changing so quickly? It’s so awesome, but just like every other parent in the world, I want to slow down time. I want to soak every minute of you up. We’re doing our very best to do that!

Since you turned four months old, Mommy has started a new job! She works weekends and one weekday so that we can be with you all the time. You never go to daycare or a nanny, though we’re about to get you a sitter for the one day a week Mommy works and I go to school for a couple of hours. Since she started this job, you’ve been lucky enough to spend those days with grandparents! Nana has come up a few times, and Grandpa Stu and Maymie were here one week. They all love spending time with you, and you get a real kick out of spending time with them!

You’ve started eating solids, which thrills you to no end. I’m pretty sure you’ve come to expect something on a spoon in your mouth every day, because without it, you fuss at bedtime and wake up in the night for a bottle. Rest assured that we’ve gotten the message loud and clear: you’re HUNGRY! We won’t be skipping any days again. 🙂

Your poop is different. That’s all I’ll say about that. We need to install the diaper sprayer: STAT.

You started rolling over a couple of weeks ago, and as of today, you can successfully roll from your back to your tummy AND you can get that smushed arm out from underneath your torso! We are so excited that you’re gaining physical independence and getting stronger.

This last month you’ve started to curl your toes from one foot onto the other. I love it when you do this so much. Your sweet little feet are so CUTE. I can hardly stand it! I nibble on them all the time. The other day you started grabbing your feet! You were sitting in your bouncer, and BOOM! Foot-grabbing ensued. It was a sweet little moment.

You are SUPER chatty lately. Babbling, yelling, cooing, laughing – it’s all adorable. I love watching you try to form sounds with your mouth. What are you trying to tell us? Stories, I bet. Facts, ideas, thoughts, questions, whatever. We’re listening.

You went to the doctor for two shots today. You weigh 15 lbs, 15 oz! Whoa, buddy! That’s impressive. You’ve gained 1 lb, 5 oz in the last month. We’re so pleased that you continue to grow and flourish.

Your personality is so sweet and kind. Your snuggles get better and better with every day, if that’s even possible. You don’t particularly love to nap on your own, but we don’t mind much – napping with you is a highlight. Naps are great in the first place, and in the second place, you cuddle like no other. Quite simply: you are a snugglebug.

I imagine that these little notes to you will be pretty repetitive. “You’re great… You make our life so much better… How can you be this awesome? You’re so cute. You’re growing! You’re developing! Changes! More changes! Milestones!” I don’t really care. Let’s face it: these are more for me than they are for you. I want to remember how I felt during these first years of your life (or however long these letters last; monthly, semi-annually, or not). Your life is the most remarkable thing that has ever happened to me. I will never be a new mama again, so I’d like to remember exactly how it feels. It is 99% joyous and 1% fear and worry. This is an incredible ratio for me, because I am generally VERY anxious. But not about you, my sweet little love. Being your mama is the very best thing.

All my love,
Mama

I became Jonah’s legal parent today. That will be my designation on his new birth certificate: “parent.” Janet is “Mother.” I don’t have a problem with it. We all know I’m his Mama.

It was a fairly unremarkable occurrence, but it was completely awesome inside my head and my heart. Here’s how it went:

We got all ready and drove to the Dekalb County Courthouse. We went through security and met Lori, our lawyer. Jury selection was happening today for the Burrell Ellis case, so there was quite a bit of flurry, and there was a tv truck out front. We saw ol’ Burrell – he looks like Gus from Breaking Bad. Anyway.

We went up to the 7th floor to see Judge Johnson. Lori prepped us that it would be a very short event in the judge’s chambers (not clad in wood, as it turns out – just an office with a nice view). The judge had at least two more adoptions this morning, and then she’d sit through pre-trial blah-blah for the Ellis case! A minor local celebrity judge did our adoption!

We got ushered in by the judge’s clerk (I think?), and met the judge. She was very nice, though she hardly said a thing to us (not because she was rude or shy, but because Lori did all the talking). Lori swore us in (hands raised and everything) and asked us some questions to made sure we were both aware of the gravity of the adoption for both of us and for sweet Jonah. Speaking of Jonah, he was totally cool the whole time, and smiled his face off during The Proceedings. Such a good fella. Then the judge signed the paperwork, we took a few quick pictures (that are horrible – I’ll add one to this post later when I’m with the camera again), and we were whisked out. It was less than five minutes.

Lori then took us downstairs to the Clerk’s office or whatever, where we received a copy of the final judgement and other important paperwork. They want us to send them a picture of Jonah to add to their extensive collection of happy faces on the walls of their break room – how sweet! We packed up and headed out. All told, we were there for one hour, including time for lots of chitchat.

Afterward, we went to Ria’s for celebratory pancakes! Jonah had a celebratory nap. It was a great morning.

I don’t really feel any differently, but I do remember at the beginning of Jonah’s life feeling like I was “less than” in the eyes of the law, since we had to do a lot of stuff that required Janet – specifically – because she was his only legal parent. And now I’m also his legal parent, so when that stuff pops up in the future, I can do it too.

That was our morning. That part of this journey is complete. 🙂

I told you it was awful. I look like a freak! As usual.

Jonah loves sweet potatoes. He growls and mumbles and babbles while he chows down. It’s awesome. I wish I could figure out how to add video to this dang wordpress site.

At any rate, sweet potatoes have been a big hit. Eating, in general, is a highlight of Jonah’s day. He didn’t have any solids yesterday – for no good reason – and not only did he demand a gigantic bottle before he’d lay down for bedtime, but he woke up at 2 am for another big bottle. That was painful. We won’t be skipping any days of solids for Mr. Baby.

I think we’re gonna move on to peas next. We’ll likely mix them with avocado to cut some of the sweetness. I’m tickled to get out the baby food cookbooks, though honestly: steam, mush, feed. There’s not a lot of room for creativity in the first several weeks of solids. We’re definitely introducing one food at a time, just to be cautious, since he’s just five months (tomorrow!).

He rolled from his back to his tummy yesterday! He didn’t manage to pull the squished arm out from under his little torso, but he tried good and hard. He finally gave up and whined for help.

AND! He found his feet. I was putting away groceries, looked over, and he was all grabby with his toes. He was very pleased with himself. Me too! Next thing ya know, he’ll be whistling and snapping his fingers!